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Don’t Miss These Medical Puns, Jokes & One-Liners


			

Don’t Miss These Medical Puns, Jokes & One-Liners

Alex E. Proimos / Flickr / CC BY-NC

Who says medicine and allied healthcare can’t be fun? Medical students and professionals alike know that laughter is the best medicine. So it’s no surprise that this translates into some great humor in the professional field.

We’ve collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really) all-natural medical humor. Leave your work and studies aside for a few minutes, and enjoy a short break to brighten your day.

Medical Puns

RCB / Flickr / CC BY

1. “Statistically…. 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.”

2. “PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.”

3. “Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.”

4. “I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.”

5. “I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.”

6. “Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.”

7. “URINE: opposite of ‘you’re out.'”

8. “There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass.'”

9. “He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart.”

10. “I don’t find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency.”

Medical Jokes

Dr.Farouk / Flickr / CC BY

1. “The saying, ‘There’s more pleasure in giving than in receiving,’ applies chiefly to advice… and medicine.”

2. “While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”

3. “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”

4. “I have some good news and some bad news. But don’t worry, I’ll give the good news to your widow.”

5. “I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. ‘Why do you feel that?’ he asked. ‘Because,’ I replied, ‘I’ve got tire marks on my legs.'”

Hospital Humor

Philippa Willitts / Flickr / CC BY

Q: Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
A: So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.

Patient: ‘Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. Have you got anything to keep it in?’
Doctor: ‘What about a cardboard box?’

Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: Only if you aim it well enough.

Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’

Q: What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

Patient: ‘Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?’
Doctor: ‘Yes, of course…’
Patient: ‘Great! I never could before!’

If you’d like to enjoy some more medical humor check out our 10 Humerus Jokes for Allied Health Students.

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